28 February 2008

i failed God today

I've been convicted recently that I need to be spending more quality time with God. Last night I thought that I would try to rise a little earlier this morning to do just that. Okay, those of you who know me well can stop laughing now. My normal morning routine consists of falling out of bed just in time to shower, get dressed, pack a lunch, and jet. So, I thought, maybe God and I could do a little tag-team. Lord, I really want to spend time with you. Will you please wake me up in time to do that? Just do whatever means necessary, aside from having Yahtzee (my cat) hurt me. Please don't let him hurt me, but just allow me to wake up in time to spend some time with You. On a regular day, my normal wake up time is 6ish. This morning Josh had to be here 15 minutes earlier, so I had set my alarm clock for 5:45. This is without the alotted time for said quality time.

My eyes opened at 5:18 am. No Yahtzee, no weird noises. They just opened.

Then I went back to sleep.

Augh! I hate mornings. Absolutely hate them. Or rather, I hate how it affects me.

When I was telling Josh about my shameful behavior this morning, our talk turned to the time and how we actually left the house when we needed to.

He said, We really need to leave at this time every day.

I looked at him, Then you need to help me get up b/c I have such a hard time!

He was quick with his retort, If God can't do it how can I?

This comment was made in jest, but he has a point. Not that God couldn't lift me up out of bed and shove me in the right direction every morning. I absolutely believe that He could. But maybe I need to rethink my strategy a bit...


  1. I'm right there with ya, sista! If I had a quarter (or maybe even penny!) for every time this has happened, I would be very independently wealthy!! :)
    Hang in there and keep on keeping on....that's all we can do. God knows we hate mornings. Maybe he just gets jammed up with all the morning people out there who really have their act together with devotions that he's really ok with some of us who do it at various and random other times during the day. :) Just a thought. :) Love you!

  2. Umm... I don't really know if it matters or not, but I thought that I would offer a slightly different perspective on this for you. IF.. you belive, (as you said you did in your blog) that God himself woke you out of bed this morning why would you assumed that he ceased to structure your day at the moment that you awoke? What I'm asking is this... Is there anyway that maybe, just maybe, the author and creator of the unvierse designed each and every event of this unique day in your life to bring you to a point that perhaps by missing your "Quality Time with God" you actually grew hungrier for communion with him. Maybe, just maybe, God designed for this day to turn out the way that it did (including the missed devotional period this morning) so that you would actually glorify Him more by missing your plans and following his.
    I don't think you failed God by missing your planned "Quality Time" with Him. Maybe his "Quality Time" with you was that one humbling moment when you realized just how hungry you were...

    David Chevalley

  3. Dave,

    Thanks for the comment! I just wanted to reply to your perspective on this. First of all, I never assume. You know what happens when you do that. ;) Seriously, though, I'm not sure that I am at liberty to say whether or not God made me go back to sleep...or wear my black sweater...or pack a lunch rather than eat at the cafe. You know as well as I do the endless debates that go on involving God's sovereignty and our free will. Maybe 'failed' isn't quite the best word to use here, but for my lack of vocabular (yes, I said "vocabular", like tubular, I just thought it sounded cool) knowledge I'll stick with it. The point where I personally feel that I failed is when I told God I would get up when He woke me, and then I didn't follow through on my word. God ALWAYS keeps His word and although I know I am not perfect as He is, we are to always strive for perfection, and I just know in my heart that I really could have gotten up. I was tired. I didn't want to. I was selfish. That's what it came down to, was my selfishness. Anyhoo, that's my take. =)

  4. I appreciate you sharing this Susan, it challenged me, I too am trying to be more consitent in my time with God and I am learning so much. I love the way you write, it is fun when you are so candid! You are so funny!