Thursday Thinker: I am lazy

 

"Go to the ant, O sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise," -Prov. 6:6

I always heard about the ant, about how it works hard and does its job well, but there are some things about the ant that I never knew before going to church last weekend.  Pastor Tim Howey gave great insight into the life of the ant with a ton of amazing facts.  Two things for me that stuck:

*Most ants are female

*Ants have no leader

It is absolutely amazing, all that the ant accomplishes...and with no leader to guide them!  

A sluggard is a lazy person.  I've never really considered myself a lazy person.  Then I heard this: "Procrastination is a version of laziness."

How many times have I put off doing what I know I should do?

Too many.

How many times have I convinced myself that I am fine and justified my sluggish ways to the point of not moving at all?

Way too many.

"How long will you lie down, O sluggard?  When will you arise from your sleep?"

How long, indeed.

I will be very honest with you.  The two biggest areas of my life right now where I need to pick up the pace and get moving are: 

1. Going deeper with God

2. Take better care of my body with good food and exercise

What areas of your life do you need to get moving in?  

Praising Him In The Storm

Yesterday was a hard day. My family is going through a pretty tough time right now. And when you're going through a valley, it makes all the day to day "tough stuff" that much tougher. The baby had a fever, didn't want to be put down, and didn't nap very well. The four year old asserted her stubborn side, and the two year old was, well, two. 

Through the tears, the frustration, the anxiety, and the hopelessness, one thing kept coming back into my mind. I went to the Psalms to find some comfort and there it was again. I wasn't looking to any particular Psalm, I just opened my Bible there and started reading. David seemed to be as low as anyone could get. I read his cry out to God for several verses, then there it was... 

But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me.

At the end of the day, David still praised God, because he recognized that even though he was a step above dead, he still had things to be thankful for.

All day yesterday, through all of this, a song kept popping into my mind. One line, over and over. I pulled it up on YouTube to hear all the words. It's a good one. Take a listen. :)

is it real?

Sometimes I still wonder if the doctor got it right. Maybe I should go to my family doctor and make sure I don't have a really long case of the flu? I guess it comes from wanting something for so long, then desensitizing myself to it so that it didn't hurt as much. I think I told myself it WASN'T going to happen so many times so that I could get myself used to the idea if it never did happen. I've done that my whole life. Expect things not to go the way you want, that way when they don't, you're not disappointed and if they do, well, you're pleasantly surprised. I can't say I've ever done that with anything this big before, though. Usually it was expect a low grade on a test I took or tell myself there's no way I would get what I really wanted for Christmas. I am looking forward to when I have more evidence of being pregnant than the uneasy feeling in my stomach!

Sometimes I try to figure God out (I don't know that I have EVER succeeded at this). I think, why now? Why not earlier? Why not later (thank God it's not later!)? I could go round and round with myself as to why God may have kept us from getting pregnant until now. I really don't know if I will ever know for sure. But, as much as I want everything to make sense and have purpose and order, sometimes God just doesn't give us that. He wants us to trust Him, and I think that if we knew the reason to everything, it would be easier not to do that. I am thankful. While I am hurling into a bucket or buying stock in Saltine crackers, I am thankful! He has truly given us the desire of our heart and while it's what I've wanted more than anything, I know I don't deserve it.

my comfort

"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am finding that on those bad days, and even the coasting days, I am comforted by this promise.

input wanted!

Josh did something over at his blog that I thought was a cool idea and so I decided to do it as well. Our pastor recently preached on spiritual gifts and I have since been wondering exactly what mine are. I've already taken a test to see what my gifts possibly are, but it would be interesting to see what you all think. Read through the list and the descriptions below and comment me what you think my top three are. I'll compare your answers to the answers of the test and see what we find! Thanks!....

A. Administration/Ruling
B. Discernment
C. Evangelism
D. Exhortation
E. Faith
F. Giving
G. Helps/Serving/Ministering
H. Knowledge
I. Mercy
J. Pastor
K. Teaching
L. Wisdom


Spiritual Gift Definitions

Administration/Ruling
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to organize, administrate, and promote the various affairs of the local church's ministry to direct them effectively. A local church cannot grow beyond a certain point without the ministry of these individuals. See I Corinthians 12:28 Romans 12:8, Titus 1:4-5

Apostleship
This is the spiritual gift that refers to certain men called by Christ Himself and given special power to charter the newly formed church. See Ephesians 4:11, I Corinthians 12:28 See also Acts 1:22, I Corinthians 9:1

Discernment
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to know with without a doubt whether a statement or behavior is of God, Satan, or man. See I Corinthians 12:10, Acts 5:3-6, Acts 16:16-18, I John 4:1

Evangelism
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables particular Christians to share the Gospel to unbelievers and burdens Christians about soul-winning. All Christians are called to witness for Christ whether they have this gift or not. See Ephesians 4:11, Acts 8:5-12, Acts 21:8, Acts 8:26-40, Matthew 28:18-20

Exhortation
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to deliver challenging and encouraging words. See Romans 12:8, Acts 11:23-24, Acts 14:21-22, Acts 15:32

Faith
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit provides Christians with great confidence to believe and expect great things from God. See I Corinthians 12:9, Romans 5:1, Romans 12:3, Hebrews 11

Giving
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to accumulate and give large amounts of their finances to the glory of God. See Romans 12:8, Acts 4:32-37, Galatians 4:15, Phillipians 4:10-18, II Corinthians 8:1-5

Healing
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit uses certain Christians to restore physical or mental health to the sick or demon possessed.
See I Corinthians 12:9, 28, 30, James 5:13-16

Helps/Serving/Ministering
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit empowers certain Christians to render practical help in both physical and spiritual matters. Serving one another, like evangelism, is a calling of all Christians, but there are some who have a special desire to serve, and receive great blessing from it. See Romans 12:7, I Corinthians 12:28, Galatians 6:1-2

Interpretation of tongues
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit gives certain Christians the ability to clarify and interpret messages uttered in an unknown language. See I Corinthians 12:10

Knowledge
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit gives certain Christians the supernatural ability to understand God's Word and to effectively communicate it to others. See I Corinthians 12:8

Mercy
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to minister to and have compassion for those who are suffering or afflicted.
See Romans 12:8, Luke 10:30-37

Miracles
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit empowers certain Christians to perform events that are outside the realm of nature. See I Corinthians 12:28

Prophecy
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit empowers certain Christians to receive revelation of events in the future. See Romans 12:6, I Corinthians 12:10, I Corinthians 14:1-5, Ephesians 4:11, I Corinthians 14:30-33, I Peter 1:20-21

Pastor/Teaching
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables certain Christians to preach and teach the Word of God and to take responsibility for the spiritual welfare of a body of believers. See Ephesians 4:11, I Peter 5:1-11

Teaching
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables particular Christians to communicate and clarify the details and truths of God's Word for others to learn.
See Romans 12:7, Ephesians 4:11

Tongues
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit enables a Christian to supernaturally speak a previously unknown language. See I Corinthians 12:10, I Corinthians 12:30, I Corinthians 14:4, I Corinthians 14:39, Acts 2:4, Acts 19:6

Wisdom
This is the spiritual gift where the Spirit empowers particular Christians with a supernatural understanding of God's Word and the will to apply it to life situations. See I Corinthians 12:8, James 3:13-17.

i failed God today

I've been convicted recently that I need to be spending more quality time with God. Last night I thought that I would try to rise a little earlier this morning to do just that. Okay, those of you who know me well can stop laughing now. My normal morning routine consists of falling out of bed just in time to shower, get dressed, pack a lunch, and jet. So, I thought, maybe God and I could do a little tag-team. Lord, I really want to spend time with you. Will you please wake me up in time to do that? Just do whatever means necessary, aside from having Yahtzee (my cat) hurt me. Please don't let him hurt me, but just allow me to wake up in time to spend some time with You. On a regular day, my normal wake up time is 6ish. This morning Josh had to be here 15 minutes earlier, so I had set my alarm clock for 5:45. This is without the alotted time for said quality time.

My eyes opened at 5:18 am. No Yahtzee, no weird noises. They just opened.

Then I went back to sleep.

Augh! I hate mornings. Absolutely hate them. Or rather, I hate how it affects me.

When I was telling Josh about my shameful behavior this morning, our talk turned to the time and how we actually left the house when we needed to.

He said, We really need to leave at this time every day.

I looked at him, Then you need to help me get up b/c I have such a hard time!

He was quick with his retort, If God can't do it how can I?

This comment was made in jest, but he has a point. Not that God couldn't lift me up out of bed and shove me in the right direction every morning. I absolutely believe that He could. But maybe I need to rethink my strategy a bit...

consistency (the lack thereof)

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

I am not consistent. As I take a step back and look at my life, I am a little discouraged at just how many areas of my life lack discipline and consistency. My workout schedule, my diet, quiet time with God, my prayerlife, keeping in touch with family and friends, housecleaning, being on time, and I am sure this list could go on and on the longer I sit here. Oh, and by the way, for those of you who keep up with Josh's blog, his post on laziness in no way spurred on this post. I think that God is doing a great work in our lives, separately and as a unit, and it's exciting to see how He points things out to us, before we even communicate it to each other! God, the masterful orchestrator. Marvelous.

As I've pondered this detrimental trait I've acquired, I realize that consistency is something that I greatly admire in another person. When I see someone else who has the gift of discipline in anything, no matter how big or small, I marvel at it and wish that I were that way. The verse above is what has been coming to my mind lately as I think about what I can do to change this about myself. In looking at a couple different translations you could swap out "endurance" with "perseverence", or "patience". Patience is a word I heard often while growing up. My parents knew the importance of this virtue and did their share of ingraining upon my head with it. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I hear it or strive to acquire it, it doesn't seem to get any easier to have it within my possession. The "I-want-what-I-want-and-I-want-it-now" society that we live in doesn't help. Failure to be consistent leads to discouragement which leads to giving up. This verse in Hebrews reminds me that even though I am constantly fighting the lack of consistency, I need to keep on keeping on. I may not have a perfect record. In reviewing it you will definitely see where I've fallen down and had to get up again......and again and again. But I guess that's the point. I do get up. That's the important part, and that's not giving up. That's keeping on.

why?

As human beings I think we all tend to have a curious nature. From the time we were small we have been asking the question, why? Anyone who spends any amount of time around a small child no doubt has been caught in the never-ending why game to the point of trying your best to get them occupied in something so they'll stop asking you why! One cannot live life without experiencing the deep desire to know why things are the way they are. The year 2001 saw many, many people asking why. Recently I have been struggling with this teeny, tiny question. There are so many things that have happened in the past year of my life (not all of them bad) that I don't understand. I believe that there are no coincidences. I am a child of God, and I know that He cares for me and has orchestrated my life the way that He sees fit. I approach Him with my decisions before they are made, and I make those decisions the way I think He wants me to make them. What do I do, then, when looking back these decisions have seemingly taken me to a place that is wrong or pointless? I have always been able to look back at difficult times in my life and see the reason for it, to realize that I am a better person, or that I am closer to God b/c of it....until recently. I've been talking it through with God quite a bit. Begging Him to just let me know why, so that I can understand. I just want to see the logic of it all. Then it hit me. The "why" game. When you have answered question after question for the child, does he suddenly stop and say, "No, I don't think so. I don't understand your answer." No, a child will accept your answers as fact..why? Because they trust you. They have faith that you are wiser, and therefore will have the answers. At most times, it is a blind faith. I just realized, I don't have that. I realized that while I am going back and forth with God, trying to get him to "justify" what I went through, I am not trusting Him fully. I don't have to understand. I desperately wantto understand, but I don't have to. If I understood everything about God then...He couldn't really be God, could he?

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isa 55:8,9

On another, yet related, note, I am always struggling with a lack of commitment in my time with God. Our pastor said a few things yesterday that struck me...

"When our lives are designed for comfort, they no longer bear the name of The Designer."

"When we take our eyes off Jesus and concentrate on our circumstances, we begin to drown." (speaking from the text where Peter walks on water out to Jesus)

The one that struck me the hardest was a quote that he borrowed from Dale Bruner: "Human extremity is the frequent meeting place with God."

So, I don't know why my life has taken a few detours, I may never know. What I do know, is that my "human extremity" has forced me to engage in quite a few conversations with my God and Creator, and that is enough.